Tuesday, February 01, 2011

-- Love Letters --

I read the blog Fly Through Our Window and its one of my absolute favorites.  While reading it this morning, Darby linked to this blog: Today's Letters and I was immediately smitten.

This amazing couple has put their marriage's joys and struggles out there in blogland for all to see - and more accurately, learn from.

I took several minutes (read: hour or two) perusing their blog and have become inspired.  Seeing their commitment to continually pursuing each other has convinced me that I've become lazy in my marriage.  Its not exactly like we are unhappy or anything, just complacent... comfortable.  This couple is, for lack of another word, an inspiration and I plan to add them to my Google Reader so that I am daily reminded that love and marriage are worth my effort.

In an audio-recording that they shared on their blog, they discussed their Top Ten List...  I'm going to share my favorite points, but I'd encourage you to take a listen to their story because I think it will touch us each in a unique way...

  • I love their Tuesday night questions.  Not sure I could swing this with Lucas every week, but maybe on a monthly date?  They (Emily and Tim) ask each other... How did you feel best loved in the past week? What does your upcoming week look like?  How would you feel most loved and encouraged in the days ahead? How would you feel best pursued in intimacy this week?
  • Emily and Tim also have a special box that they contribute to for their 50th Anniversary trip.  You'll have to listen to their story to find out on what occasions they contribute to the box ;) I think its a great idea! 
  • They celebrate each other by making a big deal out of birthdays, anniversaries and small accomplishments.  Considering that Lucas and I barely even acknowledged out 8th anniversary - this is an area we need to be more intentional about. 
  • They play together.  At one point in the audio-recording Emily says, "I recognize that Tim wants me to be his sidekick when it comes to doing guy things together."  This really resonated with me, because I know that this is something that Lucas values.  I will participate more in the activities he enjoys - I may get some splinters in the process, but it'll be worth it... right?
  • They also suggest that the greatest gift we can give each other is to know ourselves and the elements of our parent's marriages that have shaped our perception of what marriage is supposed to be.  What they call: "working through our origin family issues."  This is most definitely an area that affect's Lucas and my relationship.  We both are incredibly grateful for our two sets of happily married parents, but I think that we each have latched onto our idea that our marriage has to look like our parents' (and newsflash: our parents' marriages are VERY different from each other).  We need to give ourselves permission to have whatever marriage we want - not the one that has been demonstrated to us in childhood.  This is going to take some reflecting, but I think it will be incredibly revealing.
Its really interesting because Lucas and I were long-distance girlfriend/boyfriends and so we have a huge collection of love letters to each other - maybe its a practice we need to get back into...


Meredith said...

Thanks for sharing! I will definitely take a look :)

Today's Letters said...

amanda, i loved reading your post. humbled that you would take time out of your day to listen to us talk about our marriage. beyond grateful that parts of it were relatable and encouraging to you!
much love, em

Megan said...

That is amazing. Definitely a good reminder for us all!

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